A Guide to Divorce When Domestic Violence is an Issue

When people think of divorce, they often imagine long court battles, property disputes, or child custody debates. But for those living with domestic violence, the decision to file for divorce isn’t just emotional—it’s about survival.

Maybe you’ve been told to wait. Maybe you’ve been blamed for what you’ve endured. Maybe you’ve tried to hold the family together. But now, you’re here. And that means something. It means you’re ready to take back control.

Divorcing an abusive spouse in Colorado involves more than paperwork. It comes with fear, uncertainty, and, often, danger. That’s why having an experienced divorce attorney by your side can make all the difference. Reach out to our Colorado Springs, CO divorce attorneys to discuss your case.

What Counts as Domestic Violence in Colorado?

Domestic violence isn’t always bruises and broken bones. Abuse can be emotional, financial, verbal, or psychological. Under Colorado law, domestic violence includes acts of violence or threats against someone you are, or were, in a close relationship with—this includes current or former spouses, partners, or cohabitants. It also covers:

  • Harassment and stalking
  • Coercive control (like monitoring your movements or isolating you from friends)
  • Threats to harm pets, children, or property
  • Controlling access to money or important documents
  • Repeated intimidation and verbal abuse

Domestic violence is often about control, not just physical harm. If your spouse’s behavior has left you feeling afraid, manipulated, or trapped, that’s not just a toxic relationship – it’s domestic violence. And the law recognizes that.

Preparing for a Safe Exit

Divorce when domestic violence is involved isn’t a simple legal procedure. It’s a high-risk situation. The moment a spouse feels they’re losing control, they may become more aggressive. If you’re thinking about filing a divorce, timing and planning matter. Hire a Colorado Springs, CO, divorce attorney from The Law Office of Andrew Bryant who can help you:

  • File for divorce discreetly
  • Coordinate with shelters or victim advocates
  • Petition for protection orders immediately
  • Safeguard your children and property

While public safety resources are available, legal support is what gives you long-term protection.

Emergency Protection Orders and Restraining Orders

If you’re afraid of immediate harm, you can request an emergency protection order (EPO) in Colorado. Law enforcement can help you obtain one, and it can be issued on the spot by a judge.

Here’s how it works:

  • A temporary protection order can be issued quickly and is designed to offer immediate protection.
  • A permanent protection order can be granted later during a formal hearing if ongoing danger is proven.

These orders can:

  • Keep the abuser away from your home, work, or child’s school
  • Prohibit any contact—calls, messages, emails
  • Restrict firearm possession
  • Grant temporary custody or decision-making for children

A protection order is a legal tool. It gives law enforcement the power to intervene immediately if the order is violated. It also becomes a factor in your divorce case, especially if child custody is involved.

Filing for Divorce in Colorado When Abuse Is a Factor

Filing for Divorce in Colorado When Abuse Is a Factor

Colorado is a no-fault divorce state. That means you don’t have to prove your spouse’s abuse to get a divorce but abuse can still play a role in how the court handles your case. Here’s what filing looks like:

  • You submit a petition for dissolution of marriage
  • The other party is served and has time to respond
  • If there are children, financials, or disputes, hearings may follow
  • A judge ultimately grants the divorce decree

Now, here’s where things differ when domestic violence is involved:

  • The court may restrict mediation or direct contact between parties
  • Temporary orders can be issued right away to protect you and your children
  • The abusive spouse may be denied certain parental rights
  • Your lawyer can request sole decision-making for children or supervised visitation

In abusive relationships, the spouse often tries to manipulate the process—delaying paperwork, hiding assets, or using the children as leverage. A skilled Colorado Springs, CO, divorce attorney from The Law Office of Andrew Bryant will anticipate these tactics and be ready to shut them down.

How Domestic Violence Affects Custody and Visitation

Family courts in Colorado are required to consider the best interests of the child when making custody decisions. That includes a very specific directive: if one parent has committed domestic violence, that fact must be taken seriously. Here’s what that can mean for your custody case:

  • The court may grant sole legal custody to the non-abusive parent
  • Supervised visitation may be ordered for the abusive parent
  • Parenting time may be reduced or denied altogether
  • The abusive parent may be required to complete counseling or parenting classes

Judges look at more than physical violence. They consider whether a parent has created a dangerous or unstable home environment. Some abusers try to frame the survivor as uncooperative or alienating when visitation is restricted. Emotional abuse, threats, or using the child to intimidate you are all red flags.

Financial Considerations in a Domestic Violence Divorce

Domestic violence often includes financial abuse—controlling money, denying access to accounts, running up debt, or forcing dependence. When it’s time to divide finances in a divorce, your attorney can help you take back what’s yours.

  • Equitable division of property: Colorado divides marital property fairly, not necessarily equally. If your spouse drained accounts, misused funds, or hid assets, that matters.
  • Spousal maintenance (alimony): If the abuse limited your ability to work, your lawyer can seek maintenance to help you regain independence.
  • Child support: If you’re awarded custody, your attorney will ensure child support calculations are based on accurate income—not manipulated figures.

Your attorney can also take emergency action to:

  • Freeze joint accounts
  • Prevent unauthorized withdrawals
  • Request temporary financial support while the case is pending

Financial control is often one of the hardest things to untangle in an abusive marriage.

Using Technology Safely During Divorce

Abusers often use technology to monitor, harass, or intimidate. During divorce proceedings, this can escalate. Be aware of the digital trail you leave. Some steps we recommend:

  • Change your email and social media passwords
  • Turn off location sharing on your phone
  • Don’t use shared devices to contact your lawyer or court
  • Avoid discussing your plans over text or messaging apps that aren’t secure
  • Use platforms like Signal or burner phone apps for private communication

How to Handle Social Media During a Domestic Violence Divorce

How to Handle Social Media During a Domestic Violence Divorce

Social media posts can become evidence in court. Your spouse may use your photos, comments, or likes to paint a false picture of your behavior or emotional state. We recommend:

  • Avoiding social media altogether during your case
  • Never discuss your divorce or your spouse online
  • Blocking or muting any accounts that belong to your spouse or their friends
  • Taking screenshots if your spouse harasses you online

Common Challenges and How to Handle Them

Fear of retaliation or manipulation

Many survivors hesitate to move forward with divorce because they fear what their spouse might do next. Threats of harm, financial ruin, or taking the children are common. Your attorney can take immediate steps to protect you through restraining orders, emergency motions, and involving law enforcement when needed. You don’t have to face threats alone—or without protection.

Coercion during negotiations or custody battles

Abusers often use fear or guilt to push for unfair custody or financial agreements. They may try to force you into settling just to avoid a drawn-out fight. A strong attorney will step in and take over communication, making sure you aren’t pressured into giving up your rights. With a legal advocate in your corner, the negotiation table becomes much safer.

Misuse of the legal system by the abuser

Some abusers weaponize the court system itself—filing false claims, delaying proceedings, or trying to drag out the process to wear you down. These tactics are meant to frustrate and exhaust you. An experienced divorce attorney can recognize these patterns and take legal action to stop them, including requesting sanctions or expedited hearings.

How to Document Abuse Without Raising Suspicion

In many abusive relationships, the abuser controls what you say, do, and even what you record. Trying to gather evidence can feel dangerous—but if you’re preparing for divorce, documentation can make a real difference in court. The key is doing it safely and legally.

Safe ways to record incidents

If you’re still living with your spouse or have limited privacy, avoid keeping written notes or photos on shared devices. Instead, email details to yourself using a secure account that you can only access. Upload evidence—photos of injuries, threatening texts, voice recordings—to cloud storage that isn’t logged in on any shared device. You can also use disguised or encrypted apps that look like calculators or games but store private files. Be sure these apps are legal in your state and don’t trigger suspicion.

How to gather evidence legally and securely

Colorado law allows for one-party consent when recording conversations—this means you can legally record a conversation with your spouse without telling them, as long as you are part of the conversation. Avoid recording private interactions between others unless advised by your attorney. Collect things like threatening voicemails, abusive emails, social media messages, and photos of damaged property or injuries. Keep everything backed up in a location your spouse can’t access.

Importance of timestamped entries or third-party corroboration

Details matter. Include dates, times, and descriptions when you document each incident. Timestamped emails or dated journal entries add credibility. If possible, tell a trusted friend, family member, or counselor what’s happening—having someone else who can confirm your story later adds strength to your case.

How The Law Office of Andrew Bryant Can Help in a Divorce Involving Domestic Violence?

When you’re living with abuse, everything feels like it has to be done in secret. You’re watching every word, every move, every text. You’ve probably replayed conversations in your head, wondering if you could’ve said something different. Maybe you’ve even questioned whether what’s happening is really abuse—because you’ve been made to feel like it’s your fault. It’s not. And you’re not the one who should feel ashamed.

At The Law Office of Andrew Bryant, we understand that divorce isn’t just about ending a marriage—it’s about escaping a situation where your safety, dignity, and freedom have been stripped away. We’re not here to give you canned advice. Let’s talk about how we actually help.

We Help You File Safely And Strategically

In cases involving domestic violence, the first few steps matter the most. Filing for divorce can trigger your spouse. That’s why we don’t just hit submit on paperwork—we help you plan every step to protect yourself and your children. We can:

  • Coordinate with law enforcement or shelters
  • Help you secure an emergency protection order
  • File for temporary custody or support orders on day one
  • File motions to prevent the abuser from draining bank accounts or selling property

Abusers are often one step ahead when it comes to control. We make sure your legal protection moves faster than their threats.

We Take Over Communication, So You Don’t Have To

One of the worst parts of divorcing an abuser? Still having to talk to them.

We stop that right away. The moment we take your case, The Law Office of Andrew Bryant becomes the barrier between you and them. No more texts asking where you are. No more manipulation. No more guilt trips. If your spouse tries to use legal channels to get to you—emails, court filings, custody hearings—we handle it. We speak for you, file on your behalf, and make sure your story is told the right way.

We Use the Abuse Against Them—in Court

Abuse isn’t a private issue. It’s a legal factor that affects how courts make decisions about custody, parenting time, and even property division.

Then we use it. If your spouse tries to paint themselves as the victim, we counter it with hard evidence. If they try to claim 50/50 custody while ignoring a history of threats, we push back—hard. Judges in Colorado are required to consider domestic violence in custody cases, and we make sure they do.

We Understand That Healing Doesn’t Wait Until the Divorce is Final

Colorado Springs Divorce Lawyers

Here’s something most lawyers don’t talk about: the emotional fallout. At The Law Office of Andrew Bryant, we know this divorce might not just feel like a legal case—it might feel like grief, panic, relief, and fear all at once. And while we’re not counselors, we are the people in your corner when everything feels like it’s falling apart. We’ll check in with you. We’ll explain what’s happening in easy to understand terms. We’ll make sure you’re never blindsided by court dates or paperwork. We’ll remind you that you’re not crazy, too emotional, or making a big deal out of nothing. You’re someone who’s been hurt—and someone who deserves to be protected.

We Don’t Just Win Cases. We Help You Reclaim Control

Your abuser may have taken over your finances, your confidence, and even your ability 13to trust your own decisions. The legal system can feel just as intimidating—like another maze built to keep you quiet. That’s not how we operate. At The Law Office of Andrew Bryant, we don’t talk down to you. We don’t sugarcoat things. And we don’t treat you like a case file. We treat you like a person who’s been through hell and is finally ready to come out the other side. We handle:

  • High-conflict divorces with domestic violence
  • Child custody battles involving abuse
  • Emergency protection and restraining orders
  • Spousal maintenance and financial control issues
  • Post-divorce modifications if your situation changes

And we do it with focus, urgency, and respect.

You can reach our Colorado Springs, CO office at (719) 634-7353 or start a confidential conversation through our online form.