Domestic violence impacts the households of millions of Americans each year. Being accused of crimes against your family is serious. It is not uncommon for a divorce to follow these kinds of allegations. Know you aren’t alone in the confusion.
When you are facing a crisis involving domestic violence accusations, there are some very important questions to ask yourself. It’s time for a gut check. Let’s see what you can do and where you should go from here…
How Did You and Your Partner Get to a Place of Domestic Violence?
There are a variety of reasons that relationships can become unhealthy and even turn violent. Control is one aspect that can lead to violence, jealousy, unhappiness, and difficulty controlling anger are all things that unhealthy relationships have in common.
Sometimes, partners simply aren’t happy with the relationship anymore and don’t know what to do. This can exacerbate other existing issues.
One thing is certain, having a single firm represent you from domestic violence charges all the way through to final reconciliation — whatever that means for you — can make things a whole lot easier.
What Part Did You Play in the State of Your Relationship Today?
Another important question to ask yourself is in what ways you contributed to the relationship that may have led to a situation of domestic violence.
This can be one of the toughest (but also most rewarding) exercises you can undertake. Being open and honest with yourself about what may have conspired leading up to these accusations can ultimately help you figure out how to refrain from getting into this situation again down the line — with your current partner or even beyond.
Do You Have Specific Triggers That Tend to Send You into a Tailspin?
The triggers of domestic violence are unique to every person. If you have been accused of domestic violence, spending a little time on rewind can help you identify patterns. One easy way to work on this little exercise is to grab something to write with.
Give yourself a few examples of fights with your partner and jot everything down as if you were an all-seeing, all-knowing observer. The environment, the actions, the feelings, the reactions. You may be surprised by what you find, and how often you find the same things happening.
Common anger triggers, for instance, include:
- Relationship stressors like workload and financial issues
- Regular alcohol or drug use
- Untreated depression, anxiety, or other mental health concerns
Identifying your triggers is the first step in addressing them. You can’t fix an issue you aren’t aware you have in the first place.
Are You Legally Represented in the Way You Need?
Impending divorce is a beast all its own. This complex legal process that can involve child custody, child support, visitation, alimony, and property division. The thing is, when domestic violence charges are involved, they are even more complicated.
Having a single legal team that knows every detail of your situation intimately has an advantage over working with two separate firms. Besides having to tell your story more than once, there is also significant administrative time savings since all of your files are housed in the same office.
Partnering with an experienced Colorado Springs family law attorney like the Law Office of Andrew Bryant ensures that you and the best interests of your entire family are properly represented.
What is Your Best Path Forward?
It may seem that every decision you make is for the sake of your family. It might feel counterintuitive to turn your focus inward.
Trust us, though. When you make decisions based on what is best for you first good things naturally follow. Especially when you still have the well-being of your partner and family at the root of every decision — even when it means (not always, but sometimes) divorce.
Remember, You Have Control of Your Future
When you can answer all of the questions presented here, you have begun the work to improve yourself, and the way you interact with your partner in the future, no matter the outcome of your current relationship, and especially when you are going to share custody of children.
Don’t forget that you have control over your future regardless of previous situations with domestic violence. You may be going through some trying times, but learning from them and making sure you have appropriate legal representation to see you through, will help see you to the other side.
About the Author:
Andrew Bryant is a well-respected Colorado Springs criminal attorney who has been practicing in the area for years. A Colorado native, he returned to the home he loves after graduating from the University of Kentucky College of Law. Now, he uses the knowledge he gained as an El Paso County District Attorney to fight tirelessly for his clients’ rights. He is AV-Preeminent rated, has been recognized for his work by The National Trial Lawyers, and has been named to Best of the Springs lists by The Gazette for years.